Today is Mother's Day. A time to celebrate the warm memories and the love & support that you received from your dear mother. For many of us, Mom was the most important person in our life, the one person that loved us unconditionally and believed in us no matter what. She was always there to lend a shoulder to cry on and to prop us up when we didn't feel so great about ourselves. We treasure the fond memories of special moments that we shared throughout our lives. We credit her with giving us the wisdom of her ways and the strength to carry on despite the obstacles.
But what about those of us that had a Mother that did none of the above? For us, our mother was not warm and nurturing. Our Mom was selfish, unloving, vindictive, and down-right mean. We have no special memories of our time togehter. Instead of feeling love, we received criticism and rejection. Her needs always came first, and ours never mattered.
For everyone with these memories, we don't celebrate mother's day. We don't want to do anything special for our mother. We'd rather forget our childhood than relive those painful days growing up.
So if this is you, don't feel alone. There are many of us that share your experience. Today, you don't want to send flowers or a card with a lovely sentiment. We don't want to call our mother and say "I love you Mom, thank you for everything you ever did for me".
For everyone with Mom that wasn't really a mom, don't feel bad. Sure, you can tell yourself she did the best job she could. That was probably right, but that doesn't mean the damage she inflicted on you was ok. For me, I've accepted what was and I've moved on. I don't blame her. I don't hate her. I would have to have feellings to hate, and those died years ago.
What you can do is take note of how you survived, how you moved on, and how you've done something with your life. Your mother may have not loved you, but it didn't keep you from loving yourself. Give yourself credit for not becoming a victim of your past. Your horrible childhood is done and the past is in the past. Maybe you have children of your own, and you've been the mother to your own child that your mother never was for you. That is definitely something to feel good about.
So no matter what your situation was or is, if your mom is still alive or you buried her years ago, salute yourself on Mother's Day. You definitely deserve it.
But what about those of us that had a Mother that did none of the above? For us, our mother was not warm and nurturing. Our Mom was selfish, unloving, vindictive, and down-right mean. We have no special memories of our time togehter. Instead of feeling love, we received criticism and rejection. Her needs always came first, and ours never mattered.
For everyone with these memories, we don't celebrate mother's day. We don't want to do anything special for our mother. We'd rather forget our childhood than relive those painful days growing up.
So if this is you, don't feel alone. There are many of us that share your experience. Today, you don't want to send flowers or a card with a lovely sentiment. We don't want to call our mother and say "I love you Mom, thank you for everything you ever did for me".
For everyone with Mom that wasn't really a mom, don't feel bad. Sure, you can tell yourself she did the best job she could. That was probably right, but that doesn't mean the damage she inflicted on you was ok. For me, I've accepted what was and I've moved on. I don't blame her. I don't hate her. I would have to have feellings to hate, and those died years ago.
What you can do is take note of how you survived, how you moved on, and how you've done something with your life. Your mother may have not loved you, but it didn't keep you from loving yourself. Give yourself credit for not becoming a victim of your past. Your horrible childhood is done and the past is in the past. Maybe you have children of your own, and you've been the mother to your own child that your mother never was for you. That is definitely something to feel good about.
So no matter what your situation was or is, if your mom is still alive or you buried her years ago, salute yourself on Mother's Day. You definitely deserve it.
