I do not have holiday cheer this year.
Perhaps it's due to money being tight. Maybe it's the result of the House going Republican. Could be that I'm too old to get excited about the Holidays. It's probably a little of all of these. But, no matter, time marches on and it will soon be the start of 2011. I can hardly wait (said with a heavy dose of sarcasm).
Not that my life is so horrible. It's not. Sure, I'm working less and so is my income. But that's temporary. I'll soon be working more and making as much as I was when I was working full time. So that's good.
My son is doing well. He's getting good grades and he's starting to show more curiousity about things. He just got a part time job at Petco, so he's getting out more. He's asking questions about me. All good stuff. But I still worry about what's going to happen to him after high school. Young adults with autism have a really tough time keeping jobs, going to college, and living on their own. He'll be done with high school in a couple years, so this is concern is very real and not too far away.
So all in all, things are good. But I don't want to buy a tree. I have no energy to put lights on the house. I'm not making toffee and carmel corn to give away as gifts. Pretty much, I want the holidays to pass. It's mid-way through December, so I get that wish in just a couple weeks.
No, I think it's age. I'm 51 and I'm not at the point in my life where I'm looking towards retirement. It's just the opposite. I'm not looking towards the end of a career. I'm trying to figure out what can do to support my family. It certainly wasn't this way for my mother or my son's Grandmother. Neither had to work after they had kids. I was raised in the typical family of the 1960s when Dad was the primary breadwinner and supporting a family on one income was the norm. College was affordable. Health care costs weren't eating away a huge chunk of the monthly income. This certainly hasn't been a reality for my generation. I've been working since I was 16, pretty much non-stop for the last 35 years. I was lucky that I was able to run a business from home when my son was born, and that lasted about five years. Thank goodness, I'm not doing the 40 hour per week, 9 to 6 routine. Last time I did , I lasted about a year before I was miserable. So I'm lucky that I'm not just working just for the paycheck. If there's one thing I've learned by being in the work force for so many years is that job has to be meaningful or I end up resenting it. Life really sucks when you absolutely do not want to go to work but you have to because you need the money.
So, here I am. I haven't done any Christmas shopping. I haven't made gifts. I'm just here. Waiting for the holidays to pass.
Perhaps it's due to money being tight. Maybe it's the result of the House going Republican. Could be that I'm too old to get excited about the Holidays. It's probably a little of all of these. But, no matter, time marches on and it will soon be the start of 2011. I can hardly wait (said with a heavy dose of sarcasm).
Not that my life is so horrible. It's not. Sure, I'm working less and so is my income. But that's temporary. I'll soon be working more and making as much as I was when I was working full time. So that's good.
My son is doing well. He's getting good grades and he's starting to show more curiousity about things. He just got a part time job at Petco, so he's getting out more. He's asking questions about me. All good stuff. But I still worry about what's going to happen to him after high school. Young adults with autism have a really tough time keeping jobs, going to college, and living on their own. He'll be done with high school in a couple years, so this is concern is very real and not too far away.
So all in all, things are good. But I don't want to buy a tree. I have no energy to put lights on the house. I'm not making toffee and carmel corn to give away as gifts. Pretty much, I want the holidays to pass. It's mid-way through December, so I get that wish in just a couple weeks.
No, I think it's age. I'm 51 and I'm not at the point in my life where I'm looking towards retirement. It's just the opposite. I'm not looking towards the end of a career. I'm trying to figure out what can do to support my family. It certainly wasn't this way for my mother or my son's Grandmother. Neither had to work after they had kids. I was raised in the typical family of the 1960s when Dad was the primary breadwinner and supporting a family on one income was the norm. College was affordable. Health care costs weren't eating away a huge chunk of the monthly income. This certainly hasn't been a reality for my generation. I've been working since I was 16, pretty much non-stop for the last 35 years. I was lucky that I was able to run a business from home when my son was born, and that lasted about five years. Thank goodness, I'm not doing the 40 hour per week, 9 to 6 routine. Last time I did , I lasted about a year before I was miserable. So I'm lucky that I'm not just working just for the paycheck. If there's one thing I've learned by being in the work force for so many years is that job has to be meaningful or I end up resenting it. Life really sucks when you absolutely do not want to go to work but you have to because you need the money.
So, here I am. I haven't done any Christmas shopping. I haven't made gifts. I'm just here. Waiting for the holidays to pass.
